You know what you DON'T want to pass down to your kids. Now let's teach them (and you!) what healthy actually looks like.
I help cycle-breaker millennial moms raise emotionally healthy and confident kids while learning nervous system regulation, emotional maturity, self-trust, and healthy relationship skills right alongside them.
I see you trying so damn hard to give your kids something better than what you grew up with:
Emotional safety
Feeling truly seen by you
The freedom to have their own opinions, feelings, and boundaries
The confidence to trust themselves.
The ability to participate in healthy relationships (and avoid unhealthy/toxic ones)
But now you're realizing that avoiding what wasn't healthy from your own childhood…doesn't necessarily help you teach or model for your kids the healthy versions. Because I know no one taught you or modeled it for you. And especially if you and/or your kiddos are neurodivergent or deeply feeling humans.
(Oh, and then there's the deeper societal and patriarchal toxicity we're trying to untangle, too, and you’re realizing this whole cycle-breaking thing is bigger than you thought…)
That's ok, babe. I’ve got you. 💛
I'm Kim, a cycle-breaking, ADHD, elder millennial mama raising 2 neurodivergent tween boys myself. 👋
And I’ll help you take everyday parenting moments (especially the tough ones!) and turn them into connecting, cycle-breaking parenting moments that help you all build better emotional health, self-trust, and increasing emotional maturity.
The truth is, you can read ALL the things about parenting differently and still struggle to actually DO them when everyone’s overstimulated, cranky, and all up in their feels.
Look, I know this likely isn’t your first rodeo in the parenting advice world.
You've already read the books.
You’ve scoured Google trying to figure out how to just stop getting so overwhelmed and be more patient with your kids.
You've tried the gentle parenting scripts.
You’ve taken a bazillion and a half deep breaths to ride out your kids’ meltdowns.
You've probably also spent years in therapy understanding your own childhood, your triggers, and all the things you're determined to do differently now that you’re the parent.
And I’ll bet you can even self-regulate pretty well now…whennnnn you’re by yourself or alone in your therapist’s office.
But then real life happens…
Everyone’s tired. And hungry.
You’ve been holding it together ALL DAY.
(And don’t even get me started on the perimenopause hormone rollercoaster fun we’re going through at this age. 😂)
So one little thing from your kids pushes you over the edge.
And out of your mouth comes something you’ve been working so hard not to say to your kids.
You see the hurt in their face and think…
Fuck.
Why can’t I get this right?!
So on top of holding everything together for everyone while going through “cougar puberty”, you’re living in a constant state of overwhelm and fear with thoughts like:
I promise I’m trying….but what if I’m still traumatizing my kids? Am I actually even breaking the cycle, or am I just doing a slightly less shitty version of what my parents did?
I see you, girl.
But here's the thing: You're already doing a whole lot of things differently already. You're making room for your kids to have their own feelings, opinions, and voices. (And sometimes that's a LOT harder to receive than it sounds, right?! 😂)
Because thennnnn there's the OTHER part of parenting this way that doesn't always get talked about...
It’s not just about how YOU respond to your kids' big feelings. It's also about helping THEM learn how to navigate those feelings and everything else life throws at them.
And as your kids grow, those situations can get a whole lot more complicated.
Because now they’re not just having a meltdown about turning off a screen or about the banana being peeled the wrong way (that’s serious business to a toddler, amiright?! 😂)….
Now, you’ve built all this beautiful emotional safety…
And their big feels are suddenly around things like:
friendship breakups
group chats
rejection
bullying
not feeling smart enough or good enough
body image issues
shame
self-criticism
crushes
friendships that are sounding notttt exactly healthy for them
And all of a sudden you’re like…shittttttt. (Because it’s starting to hit really close to home with things you’re still struggling with yourself.)
Suddenly the gentle parenting strategies that helped when they were little feel like they just get you attitude, shutdown, or the side eye. 😒
Because helping your kids feel safe having big feelings is one thing. Helping them know what to DO with those feelings in an increasingly mature way (and navigate all the complicated shit that comes with growing up) is a whole other ballgame.
Emotional safety’s a beautiful foundation. But it’s not the full picture of cycle-breaking.
Because honestly, the dysfunctional shit we grew up with is only part of the big picture problem.
There are so many pieces at play that contribute to the toxic generational cycles we’re working to break as millennial parents:
Yes, how we were parented
But also, societal gender role expectations (that affect how boys and girls feel safe feeling and expressing different emotions)
And a fuckton of emotionally immature adults in positions of leadership
As well as sneaky patterns of dysfunctional and abusive relationships that get passed down
And also secondary mental health issues that occur when neurodivergent kids grow up without being fully understood or supported
I’ve spent over 5 years deeply studying the science and psychology of abuse cycles, dysfunctional family dynamics, personality disorders, ADHD (and several associated neurodivergent diagnoses), as well as the healthy versions of relationships and families.
And I found 4 foundations missing in the dysfunctional and toxic patterns…that were present in the healthy ones:
The way I see it, they all work together like Lego bricks (hey, I’m a boy mom…what can I say?!)
Where they are ALL important to building an emotionally healthy and mature adult, with emotional safety as the base layer that makes the others the strongest.
Gimme a cycle you’re working to break and I’ll bet I can pin the root down to a lack of 1+ of those 4 things. 😉
And it’s totally ok and understandable if you’re not even sure how strong those areas are for yourself at this point.
In fact, I actually find it works beautifully to do this work together.
That’s why my approach to cycle-breaking parenting focuses on both your kids and you…where you can be learning, building, and modeling these skills while teaching them to your kids, in everyday moments you’re already navigating.
No scripts needed. (Because although those can be helpful, you and your kids are beautifully unique and complex individuals, and this isn’t one-size-fits-all.)
Hi, I’m Kim!I’m a cycle-breaking single mama to 2 tween boys, a domestic abuse survivor, an ex-Physician Assistant who spent 7 years across women’s health and pediatrics, and a coach who’s spent nearly 6 years helping women be more patient and present with their kids while building their own self-trust, including a mix of life, business, and parenting coaching.
Oh, and my kids and I all have ADHD 🤪 so I’m intimately familiar with all that goes with that.
I’ve been parenting my own boys the way I now teach for the last 4 years (since my divorce), and it’s been seriously the best thing for all of us.
Although of course none of us are perfect, and the boys are still kids, I already routinely see each of them (at 10 and 12!) practice more emotional maturity, self-trust, and emotional intelligence than pretty much any other adult in my family (or their dad’s family…including their dad.)
My work is a combination of my clinical background, my trauma-aware coaching education, and years of lived & work experience. And I'm particularly passionate about those 3 things: emotional maturity, self-trust, and healthy relationships.
Because I've seen firsthand how much damage can come from never learning those things.
And I believe we can create the biggest positive impact (not just in our own families, but in the world) when we start teaching our kids these things before they're navigating adulthood and relationships of their own.
And as a woman with wayyyyy too many stories of abusive relationships in her family (and on the side of my kids’ dad’s family), I’m also extremely passionate about advocating for abuse victims and helping others prevent abusive relationships from both sides…starting in childhood.
(Or leave toxic relationships…I’ve worked with women to do that, as well!)
And I firmly believe that we can do all of this without turning motherhood into another exhausting exercise in getting everything “right”. (Because that’s just more patriarchal bullshit, if you ask me. 😉)
In fact, my work focuses on supporting you in both parenting and your own healing and growth journey. At the same time.
Because when it comes to cycle-breaking parenting, they’re really intimately tied together anyway.
I'll bring curiosity, compassion, humor, and a whole lot of knowledge to our work together.
I'll also lovingly call you on your shit when it's helpful. 😉
And I'll always respect that you're the one who knows yourself, your kids, and your family best. xx
You're not just trying to give your kids a better childhood. You're working to give them a better life.
You don't need to have mastered the skills I mentioned yourself before you can start helping your kids learn them.
You get to learn and grow together.
You get to get it wrong and it actually be a beautifully connecting learning and growth experience for you both.
And you get to have support while you're figuring all of this out.
If you're ready to explore what that could look like for you and your family, I'd love to connect. xx